A Hanyou's Love
by Rinseternalsoul
Summary: [OneShot] Inuyasha is losing the love of his life to the passing of time and pushes away the pain by falling into the arms of another. InuKikyo InuKag


**A Hanyou's Love**

By Rinseternalsoul

Disclaimer: I can only dream of having the money that Rumiko Takahashi makes off of her anime, Inuyasha. Me? I'm just a non-profit fanfiction author who adores the show and loves to write smut.

_Summary - One-Shot Inuyasha is losing the love of his life to the passing of time and pushes away the pain by falling into the arms of another. Inu/Kikyo, Inu/Kag_

A/N- I will warn you that you may find this pretty sad, so if you don't feel like shedding a tear, and getting a little mad, you may want to save this for a day when you do. Hope you like it.

**WARNING Contain's Explicit Sexual Content - For adults only.**

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I watched her, as she prepared some tea for us both. I fought the urge to take over, to do it myself, saving her from the everyday pain of the simple act. She was too proud, however, too strong in spirit, though her body was rapidly failing her...

And me.

I knew that this would happen. There was a time long ago when I fought against it, knowing that loving a human woman could only end in pain. As a hanyou, I would live centuries beyond her life span, but I couldn't turn away from her. I just could not seem to let her go. She had inadvertently planted a small seed inside of me that grew into a passionate love.

My Kikyo.

I sighed fondly, remembering days that, to me, were not so long ago. She was a rare beauty in her prime, with long, straight, hair that shone like that of a raven's wing, standing tall and confident. Her skin was so smooth and her lips so soft. My memory began to stray to dangerous ground and I quickly looked up to find her staring back with a little curl to her lips. "What?" I asked, trying to play ignorant.

"Inuyasha, I have known you for sixty eight years. By now, I am fully aware of the moments when your mind slips into the gutter."

I grinned at her. My heart swelling with love. She meant the world to me, my Kikyo. She knew me and loved me no matter my faults. It was so damn hard to live with her each and every day, getting older, and leaving me behind.

I stood up, not wanting to think anymore about the days ahead. It pissed me off to no end, knowing that I would lose her. I would have to bury my love in the cold ground, while I, a filthy hanyou, lived on.

"I'm going out for while, koi. Don't wait up for me, okay? You need your rest," I leaned down, to give her a kiss, closing my eyes to the hurt look that I saw there. I knew she hated it when I said that, but I didn't want her sitting up worrying about where I was.

Because if she knew...

It would kill her.

I walked out of the house that held the scent of my once beautiful miko. I took in a deep breath, cleansing my lungs of the scent of impending death, and feeling absolutely filthy for doing so. I should not hate it so much, the smell of her. She was my Kikyo. My wife and mate. The one that I gave my heart to.

With a growl of annoyance I pulled open the door to my shiny black Hummer, and hopped behind the wheel. I really needed a fucking drink. On the way to the store, I couldn't stop the thoughts that always came to mind now that I was faced with losing her. When I was young and ignorant, and blindingly in love with the enchanting young Kikyo, there was nothing that would stand in my way. Nothing could keep me from her. She was like the very air to my body. Without her I would have died.

Now, however, after sixty-eight long, happy, years of life together, my kind-hearted lady was withering away. Her skin, once velvety smooth and stretched taught over fine, delicate bones, was now wrinkled and spotty, hanging loose over shortening, bent form. Her long onyx hair was gray and thin, cut short, for the ease of its care, while her, once bright, chestnut eyes, were dull and hidden behind small silver framed eyeglasses. Her body was failing and there wasn't one fucking thing that I could do to change it.

She no longer sleeps in the same room as me, nor does she bare her naked body to me. In fact, she covered her flesh each night as if the sight of her would burn my very eyes. And the truly sickening part is, that I am grateful for it.

I am the lowest form of bottom dwelling scum.

It scares me to death, thinking of living my life without her. It frightens my half-human heart to the point of stilling in my half-youkai chest. I've been suffering from these attacks of uncontrollable fear for over ten years now, ever since the day she collapsed from over exerting herself in the gardens. That day changed my life. It brought her mortality all-too-prominently up to slap me in my youthful face.

It had been too easy to push aside the worries of far-off death, when we were young and full of life. So damned easy.

I reached out of the window and grabbed the fifth of liquor from the lady in the drive-thru, took my change, the soft drink, and a Styrofoam cup full of finely crushed ice, before driving up to pour myself a drink in the parking area. To hell with the law, I needed the drink _now_.

Without a thought, I pulled onto the road and headed for downtown. The streetlights and traffic passed by un-noticed, as I made my way mindlessly to my destination. I took the turns with automated ease, and smiled when I pulled up to the tall apartment complex.

Here, I could put my worries aside. Here, I could forget, if only for a short while.

I am one Sorry God Damned Bastard.

After reaching over and grabbing my shit from the seat beside me, cursing like a son-of bitch, because I spilled a quarter of my fucking drink in the floorboard, I locked the Humvee and headed for the elevator. I'll be okay once I'm inside. Nothing could calm me more.

The ride lasted forever, but finally the elevator doors slid open, and I made my way to apartment number 362. I awkwardly knocked on the door, and waited.

"Inuyasha!"

Kami she was beautiful. I couldn't stop the dorky grin that plastered itself on my face, and my heartbeat was fluttering like a cricket on a hotplate. Before I could catch my breath, she leaped on me, wrapping me in her arms and squeezing with all her fragile might. "Hey Kagome."

"I missed you," she said sweetly, before giving me a soft, tender, kiss on the cheek. She pulled away with a blush, and I found myself bursting with the need to take her in my arms once again. She was so young, fresh, and innocent. She came to me, from heaven, I'm sure, seven months ago. I fought it at first, but the attraction was too damned strong. Nothing I did kept her from invading my thoughts day and night.

I avoided her for as long as I could, but eventually gave in and sought her out. In my frustration and anger, I was a bastard to her, treating her like shit, but she always forgave me, and in the end it only left me feeling like a stupid prick. I pushed her away, and she responded by opening her arms and welcoming me into her heart.

I sat the cup down on the counter and poured myself another drink. She was rattling off in the background, telling me about her friend Sango and her boyfriend, the lecher. I smiled and nodded, as if I heard all the words that she was speaking with her full, petal soft lips. I took a big drink, welcoming the warmth as it flowed into my gut, drowning my regrets, and filling me with hot, temporary, peace.

Kagome was in love with me.

It positively glowed from every pore on her lovely body, making her aura flutter in soft white clouds. She loved me, trusted me, and I am such a bastard.

I pulled her to me and smirked when she released a squeak of happy surprise. My eyes felt heavy, as I inhaled the soft scent of jasmine that always surrounded her. I closed them, savoring the essence of her, devouring it like a starving man. Then I kissed her.

I took her mouth with a fierce hunger. She was pure, untainted by another, and her taste was like a little slice of heaven. I nipped at her lip, careful to not nick her with my fangs. Kagome responded with a throaty moan that had my dick getting hard. This little vixen could heat my blood with the slightest ease, and I felt ashamed for it.

I rubbed myself against her stomach, showing her how much I wanted her, and I groaned when she arched, rubbing herself against my length. By Kami above she drove me mad with desire.

I am such a fool. A heartless, undeserving, fool.

I leaned down, slipping my arms beneath her knees and pulling her up against my chest, then I carried her into the bedroom. Once I laid her on the bed I stepped back to admire her. She smiled up at me with love in her dark blue eyes. Her long ebony hair spilled out over the bed and her smooth, perfect, legs were bent daintily while she held each arm out to the side, as if calling me into her world.

She doesn't know that I am married.

How could I tell her? It would break her heart. I wanted to be honest, but I couldn't bear to see her cry. I really hate that.

Plus... she would leave me.

I think that I would die if she did. She is my link to the living. My link to sanity.

My Kagome.

I stripped off my shirt, and tossed it to the floor. Her eyes never left my body, drinking me in, while a wicked little smile played on her face. I watched her, cocking my head slightly to the side, when one of her fingers went to her mouth to playfully tease between her teeth. I could hardly restrain myself from pouncing on her like a rabid animal, but thankfully managed to force the urge back, before stepping from my shoes and unlatching my belt.

She smiled, and playfully I reached down to slide my hand over the hard bulge in my pants. The resulting flush of crimson that accompanied her little giggle was enough to make me throb with need. I was hard as a rock and she was the one that would take all the pain away. "You're so damn pretty. You know that?" She just giggled, and to my ears, it sounded like a new spring day.

In minutes, I had her clothing ripped from her body. "On your hands and knees, wench," I ordered. In the bedroom, I am the master, and she loves it. In seconds I was behind her tender young body and my stiff, aching, cock, was buried deep in her wet, clenching, sheath. I strained to keep it together, holding still, while her molten heat quivered around me. She was whimpering, like a wanton little bitch, and I pulled out, only to slam it back in. Her cry echoed off the walls and mingled with the building rhythm of slapping, wet, flesh on flesh. "Damn, you feel so fucking good!" I growled between clenched teeth.

She made several incoherent, feminine, grunts with each thrust that lifted her knees from the bed. Nothing mattered to me now. Nothing except this sinful pleasure.

"Yes! Oh Yes!" Kagome called, while throwing her head back and sending long raven hair spilling over her smooth back. Her body began to shake with her first climax, and the juices from her sweet pussy flooded my thick shaft, drenching it in slick nectar. It was squeezing me so tight that I had to fight to shove it back in.

My pace increased, and I reached down, pulling her hot body flush against me, while I kneaded her luscious breast. The nipple was taught and I pinched and plucked at it until she moaned in delight. I tasted her neck and shoulder with my mouth, savoring her flavor, as I plunged into her pussy, making her scream out my name. The sound of her lustful praise pushed me close to ecstasy, and with enhanced anticipation I lowered my hand to dip long fingers into her patch of moisture coated curls. She gasped when I pinched her nub, and groaned when I began to rub it, all the while bucking her hips against me. She took my length into her, as if she were starving for me, and I could do nothing more than feed her.

"Oh... Ahhh... Inuyasha!" She cried, and the force of her rapture sent me spiraling over the edge. A hard, forced, grunt proceeded the release of my seed, and my body tensed as it pumped the cream from my cock. "Ka-go-me...," I croaked as my entire form shook with the force of my sexual explosion, while my claws dug helplessly into her hips and thighs.

We collapsed atop the bed, spent and panting, while my softening dick slid from her moist warmth, leaving me feeling empty once more.

I curled around her, drawing her close and enjoying the slick glide of her naked body against mine. She then sighed in contentment, and snuggled deeper into my warmth.

I lay awake, watching her sleep for the longest time. She was so beautiful.

I wanted her, and I aimed to keep her for as long as she would have me.

It was late when I finally pulled myself away from my new love, leaving her alone to return to my true love. On the drive home I felt the familiar melancholy set in, knowing that I had betrayed Kikyo for another. How could I keep doing this to her? How could I continue to breach our bond of trust and love, forsaking her for another?

The bright, loving, smile of Kagome danced through my mind and I knew that I would do it again, and again. She was addictive, and I would never be able to turn away from her touch.

I pulled into the driveway, and stumbled from the driver's seat. The empty liquor tumbled out behind me, crashing on the concrete, and making one hell of a racket. I cursed my stupid luck, and left the shattered mess where it lay, resolving to clean it up later.

When I flipped the lights on in the kitchen, my eyes grew wide. There at the table sat my Kikyo, looking up at me with sad, brown eyes.

"I hate her, you know."

"Wh... what? What are you talking about?" I stuttered. She knew? Dear Kami above, Kikyo knew about Kagome?

"Do no try to deny her, Inuyasha," Kikyo demanded in a tired rough voice. "I am too old to put up with your lies. I just want you to know, that I hate her." She stood up, taking some time before grasping the back of the chair that she had just been sitting in. She looked up, capturing my eyes with a cold look, that held none of the warmth of the woman I have always loved.

It scared the shit out of me.

And broke my heart cleanly in two.

Kikyo made the slightest snort of indignation then said, "How could I not feel this way, my love? She is me. She has the youth that I once held. She has the man, that I will always hold my heart."

I felt my soul shatter, as the realization of her pain came full force to slap me in the face. I staggered back, from the strength of my emotions, as well as the torment on her face. But then, her eyes softened, and the tiniest hint of a smile graced her aged face. The words that she whispered next would follow me the rest of my long days.

"I hate her, but I understand, and I forgive you both."

Hearing those softly spoken words did not have the comforting effect that I had hoped. They only served to pull me into a deeper hell. My mind, body, and soul were torn between the two women that I loved. I wanted Kikyo to stay with me forever, but she could not, and so I accepted what small piece of happiness that I could have with the kind and loving Kagome.

Was it fair to Kikyo to love Kagome?

Was it fair to Kagome, to love Kikyo?

I am sure the answers to both are enough to send me to an eternity of flaming retribution in the deepest pits of Hades.

No matter, I feel like I am already there.

That was four months ago, and today is the day that a piece of me has crumbled into ash. My Kikyo lies buried there, beneath that mound of soft, dark, earth. I can smell the freshly dug soil itching my nose as I once more read the words engraved on her headstone.

_In memory of Kikyo Taisho, beloved mate of a hanyou._

It was all that I deserved, while she deserved so much more.

I wanted to scream my agony to the heavens, but the Gods had no use for a half-breed like me. They could care less about my suffering.

She was gone. Never to return, but I would never ever let her memory fade away. Kikyo would always own a piece of my heart, and I would always own hers.

I turned away from my lost love, and lifted my silver haired head to the sky above. Kikyo's last wish was that I live a happy life, and while that request was impossible without her by my side, I could do nothing less than try.

I hopped in my Hummer, and started the engine.

Kagome was waiting.

The End.

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A/N: I don't know what has gotten into me lately, but I seem to be pushing out stories that do not revolve around my favorite pairing of Sess/Kagome. Oh well, I hope you guys don't mind a little spice in the mix. I was inspired to write this angst-ridden tale of our silver haired hanyou, and I couldn't ignore the call. I'm not usually an angst writer, so let me know what you think. 


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